Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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