Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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