when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
