would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
