i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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