I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
