I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You just made me feel so damn special
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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