Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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