Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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