Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
