After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
