The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize