I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Let's get the cat blown out
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
