All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
