she was so not down for the gang bang
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
