If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
