Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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