So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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