Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
