Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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