I hate your face
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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