Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
