i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
