I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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