I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize