then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
