then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
