our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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