A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
