there's paper in my vomit.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
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