My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
