I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
