google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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