just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
