It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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