What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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