i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
