i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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