I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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