You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
