her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
