Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
