Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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