is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
