You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
