Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
