We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
