I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
