And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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