what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
